Chris Rock
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s ...
Funny
Mark Twain
“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
Steven Wright
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
Rita Rudner
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Mitch Hedberg
“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
William Shakespeare
“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
George Carlin
“A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they are interested in fashion.”
Jose Simons
“In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.”
Frank Sinatra
“A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.”
Oscar Wilde
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”